tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-92121252024-03-12T18:52:35.921-07:00hilarityinsoozSoozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.comBlogger218125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-62346184145260158532009-02-18T12:03:00.000-08:002009-02-18T12:06:25.233-08:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh98_rLg0J-_9fuw3eHxmJSh8pM3BOta7CKqxK5eObPkPkvrNJTlq-WFKbFVGvI0j5dXnOuTB0My7KJCoBJ16fUkRR1ZEGy7mOCs5zusBx0IBIwrGoITL0SpeSoBgtTgsE1nj3giQ/s1600-h/0218091234.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh98_rLg0J-_9fuw3eHxmJSh8pM3BOta7CKqxK5eObPkPkvrNJTlq-WFKbFVGvI0j5dXnOuTB0My7KJCoBJ16fUkRR1ZEGy7mOCs5zusBx0IBIwrGoITL0SpeSoBgtTgsE1nj3giQ/s320/0218091234.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304230663851640386" /></a><br /><br />This was my valentine's present! It looks like we have a Milliner on our hands.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-76234993561637912892009-02-16T14:37:00.000-08:002009-02-16T14:44:08.081-08:00new stuffI am posting because Kat started <a href="http://lectricgold.blogspot.com/">this blog</a> and listed me in her blogroll. Also, since she listed the Fug Girls, I figured I'd better start being clever so if they ever get to my blog, we'll become friends and hang out laughing at each other all the time.<br />Something funny that happened today at work? Sure. This old guy told me he likes to sit with his back against the wall so no-one shoots him. The funny thing is that is the same reason I like to sit that way too. Really. Or so I can see it coming and dodge it real quick.<br />What else? If I was rich, what would I do? Buy <a href="http://mediation.tumblr.com/post/78660909/ed-note-in-the-continuing-spirit-of-trying-out">this t-shirt</a> for all my New York buddies.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-60769502302544004972008-06-19T08:37:00.000-07:002008-06-19T08:52:08.180-07:00Monday's ChildFound out about <span style="font-style:italic;">this</span> poem last night:<br /><br /> Monday's child is fair of face.<br /> Tuesday's child is full of grace.<br /> Wednesday's child is loving and giving.<br /> Thursday's child works hard for a living,<br /> Friday's child is full of woe.<br /> Saturday's child has far to go.<br /> But the child that is born on Sabbath-day<br /> Is bonny and happy and wise and gay. <br /><br />So you're way better off being born earlier in the week. Generally before Thursday. I can't help but imagine that the weekend was a busy time for midwives and they wanted to discourage mothers from going into labor when they'd rather be kicking back for happy hour and barbeques.<br /><br />There are two versions of this poem, and either way I am born on Thursday, which means either that I have far to go, or I work hard for a living. Awesome. It reminds me of the tragic movie "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants," which may or may not have made me cry three times. After America Ferrera confronts her father for abandoning her, the camera pans to the children's leukemia ward and I just wept "Oh NO!"<br />My point is, that <span style="font-style:italic;">meanwhile</span>, Rory is falling in love with a hottie in Greece! Her summer is so much better than the others, I just don't get it. When she leaves, the entire town comes out to say goodbye, and they send her down the mountainside on a donkey procession, with the glimmering blue sea behind her. Clearly a Sabbath-day's child.<br /><br />Check back later when I rewrite this poem. I think I'll include something like "She works hard for the money," so I can at least be pictured with a sweatshirt off my shoulders.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-5269639456972364752008-06-09T09:01:00.000-07:002008-06-09T09:03:02.113-07:00This is an officeAnd I say that with pride and tons of awe, as I report that...<br /><br />Today our new intern arrived. With her DOG. She is not blind. Nor is this dog the kind you put in your purse and feed sweetmeats to. Its the kind that sniffs your butt for drugs at the airport.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-25261267420019388902008-06-04T07:37:00.000-07:002008-06-04T07:43:23.406-07:00The IntrawebWhen I forward something to my boss, she doesn't reply to the person who sent the original. She replies to me as if I were them.<br /><br />My dad recently signed up to get back in touch with all his old high school classmates.<br /><br />Last night we had a certain television star at a certain Cuban breakfast joint where I work. He asked the owner if she speaks Cuban. That doesn't have to do with the intraweb. Or does it?<br /><br />And that is our lesson for today, folks. The internet is for everyone.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-27081504509945323812008-01-13T10:50:00.000-08:002008-01-13T08:50:52.369-08:00Busy Month at the CasaWell the holidays are over, here are the things I learned:<br /><br />1. My aunt falls asleep anytime she's in a seat in a dark theater. She even fell asleep in Stomp!<br />2. Windshield wipers are very fragile. And necessary. In blizzards.<br />3. If you see a newyear's party through the window outside and it looks like five people standing swaying gently in the middle of an empty room, cut and RUN. (even if the doorbell has already been rung.)<br />4. It is now called "Carson's countdown." Oh and I don't know any popular "bands."<br />5. Being 27 is like being 26, except WAY OLDER.<br />6. Babies like mirrors.<br />7. If you get too much chocolate, put it all in a wooden trunk so you forget about it for awhile. Then pull it out after dinner when you have guests over.<br />8. How to make n<a href="http://family.webshots.com/photo/1273699472058779669QkSESE">apkin ears</a><br />9. The Holidaze are actually like three weeks long.<br />10. <a href="http://www.spillthewinerestaurant.com/">Spill the wine</a> waitresses have heard the joke.<br />11. Michigan has some very racist names for cookies.<br />12. Detroit is the rape capital of the world.<br />13. Michigan is known for its scrapbooking conventions.<br />14. The suburbs of Chicago are worse than the suburbs of other places for the following reasons: The people, the restaurants, and the highway webs of torture. Oh and the tolls.<br />15. If you are playing a masked character and your mask falls off, it is acceptable to use the tongue to push it back on.<br />16. There is at least one person out there who will lie to get a discount, and would like a refund of $6 on December 26, smack dab in the middle of the season of giving.<br />17. Doggie poops stay here. The frozen drifts keep them cold. Snow will melt away. A haiku!Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-49993585357036120802007-11-30T07:51:00.000-08:002007-11-30T08:22:17.024-08:00Cute Canine with a Costume<span style="font-weight:bold;">JuneBug...</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSJHfwE3JA0JXg2tN5RpJNYz_rC4lrenOqC1oVEnQWzdmQs1RVer4rW0ECdG_avv6gPuaRxStDvirUEQfBXrE-2w4RiJg3KZ5nKp6whVu8swZdI4YuPYwKEu4Z4oWwa5LWIZdr4Q/s1600-r/Hayward+010.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiro5k8qRmtH-smJwwu0VjxzTjb1S6KzwIUV4l2Aqwk6ohJRCfc8vUzAacGot74v3HTZylegi_vsDO5ILwlZU-zYeohPXp2lU9RwhKgoqqqLYP0k4ASYqAO8ZBTghSf0tzoelSocA/s320/Hayward+010.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5138665325606323826" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Plus new red union suit...</span><br /><br />Equals:<br /><br />A three-way Cuteness contest between that laughing baby with the paper, <a href="http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.pandafix.com/photos/other_pandas/pandas111205_wideweb__470x3170.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.pandafix.com/photos/other_pandas/pandas111205_wideweb__470x3170.html&h=317&w=470&sz=31&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=t_kmbuXPiiL_eM:&tbnh=87&tbnw=129&prev=">Baby Pandas</a>, and Miss JB. She looks like <a href="http://www.deltanewsweb.com/archives/images/randy_peterson.jpg">this</a> but ADURABLE.<br /><br />Yeah I'm posting on the internets again. Perhaps its because I'm back in an office. Also some people who know me may think its funny that this year I will be playing the role of "Maria" in "La Natividad." Ironic jokes about virginity, religiosity and whiteness could easily follow, but I LOVE IT. My favorite part is when I sit and cute children dressed as animals, stars, and angels bow down to worship me. (I guess they're worshipping the baby, but WHO CARES?) I'm starting to feel sort of Christian or something. <br /><br />(fyi for those people who have either stumbled upon this blog or <span style="font-style:italic;">flocked here by the thousands when I started writing again</span>, the "voice" I adopted in the above paragraph is more of a ditsy character than my true self.)<br /><br />My true self spent last night playing with beads. My mom cleaned house and found my FIVE boxes of seed beads from junior high. I used to trade them with other beaders. Sort of like gamers but...aesthetically pleasing...sometimes. Beads can also end up being sort of crafty looking, so I got teased a bit when I was discovered last night with my spread. <br /><br />In other worlds, I discovered Sudoku about 8 years late. To my joy one of my coworkers doesn't sudoku yet (its a verb for me) so I got to explain the rules to her. I'm convinced that explaining it is one of the most fun parts because you sound smart and impressive and timely. Except for me, not timely.<br /><br />Finally, you may not think you know <a href="http://www.holidaymathis.com/">Holiday Mathis</a> but you DO. She writes the horoscopes for most newspapers. We're pretty sure thats not her given name or eye color.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-12971675515262233832007-11-27T14:32:00.000-08:002007-11-27T14:39:16.783-08:00On the internetsApparently a popular genre on youtube is laughing babies. Here are a few of my favorites...<br /><br />http://youtube.com/watch?v=cXXm696UbKY&feature=related<br />http://youtube.com/watch?v=x3Rw_3ky-uo&feature=related<br /><br />From viewing these I have surmised there are some things that are especially cute about babies laughing...<br /><br />1. Its all about the suspense.<br />2. They almost always fall over if not propped up.<br />3. The more babies the better. This causes a chain reaction.<br /><br />In other news...<br /><br />I saw this truck that has a picture of itself airbrushed on it. The truck is obsessed with itself. It also imagines itself out in the canyons and valleys, and not covered in sooty snow. What if I had my own face airbrushed on the ass of my jeans?Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-75662421499372165552007-10-11T16:10:00.000-07:002007-10-11T14:12:23.891-07:00<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Wffwg7pA0t8"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Wffwg7pA0t8" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-89562949014445704072007-08-09T13:23:00.000-07:002007-08-09T11:27:18.774-07:00The Cringe FestivalWell, fringe festival of Minnesota. Its over. I know you still have like 5 days left, but for me, those are the last 5 days and then its over. Seriously, I want you out.<br /><br />Yeah. We got a bad audience member review on the fringe website. A really bad one. Like the name of our show is "HowDo" and the title of the review is "HowDon't." I know, its funny. I wish the rest of the review was as witty though. It just says how bad the show is: Bad dancing...boring. At one point she describes my rampage as "sleepy." Seriously. So yeah, it hurts a little. But mostly I want to cap back on the fringe festival as a whole for a few various affronts to my own personal tastes.<br /><br />(If you want to know, yes, I lost a little sleep over our "half star out of a possible five stars." But just to let you know, I drive my grandpa's 1987 Honda Accord, so its not like I've got a gigantic ego that needs constant stroking.)<br /><br />First offending piece of evidence: <br /><a href="http://www.mooncostumes.com/item/7655">Sequin Cloche Hat in Black</a><br /><br />Seen on the head of a pushy, middle-aged woman at a show this weekend. I mean the show was sold out and she somehow convinced the house staff (with shouting) to kick someone out of a seat for her. Cringe inDEED.<br /><br />And now I would like to present a list of fictional titles of shows. These are not real shows, but I think they are adequate renditions of most of the cringe offerings.<br /><br />A Very Merry Christmas Show<br />Two Guys Rasslin' Around On Stage and Makin' A Ruckus...Loudly<br />The Postman is Dead!<br />My Imaginary Elephant<br />I Like You/I Love You<br />And All I Got Was this T-shirt!<br />Men 'o' Pause<br />Stories from Guam<br />My Adventures in Filefaxing<br />J.T. Rambach Tells All<br /><br />In short, if you're going to post a review, let it be thoughtful, specific and constructive. Everyone needs something constructive, because nothing is perfect. If you care to engage the world in your general hatred, do it face to face.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-40791418935351648332007-08-08T13:49:00.000-07:002007-08-08T11:49:21.829-07:00UP5<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omhB15G2dY4">Unicorn Planet</a> has proven itself GENIUS again with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCd7suBHJg0">Episode 5</a>.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-8517084489744749852007-07-29T10:35:00.000-07:002007-07-29T08:36:00.746-07:00Just add ParisThe front page of the NYtimes Magazine features a picture of a sympathetic robot. The caption says "next-gen robots are being designed to keep you company." Here was my ensuing line of thinking...<br /><br />Who can afford their own robot friend? The same people who will take the first moon tours. Paris Hilton. Thats when I realized that Paris Hilton and her pet robot would be the absolute one and only way for her to redeem herself in my eyes.<br /><br />What if she walked around with a robot all the time? And not just to carry her stuff and small dog, but if she turned around and whispered secrets to the robot during fashion shows, etc..<br /><br />Let me get this straight. I don't want this to be a TV show. I want it to be REAL LIFE.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-71844378596114419342007-07-23T16:59:00.000-07:002007-07-23T14:59:47.457-07:00Subtle takers of the cakeSome days every table you serve is crazy. And some days you wait on a woman who takes the old cake. But its always the subtle ones. Not the yelling ones. But the ones who really seem like they don't know how restaurants work. Food comes out. You pay for food.<br /><br />This one lady finished her damn flan (after telling me all about how nobody has just "good custard" any more) and, while clearing her plate I asked "are you folks ready for your bill?" Her reply was a solemn and slow shake of the head, her eyes locked on my face. I just said "what?" like I didn't understand. She said "We don't need it."<br /><br />I said "Oh ok, just wondering," and walked away. In about 2 minutes I noticed that her sad husband (who must be a big churchgoer and must ask the lord everyday why he's still married) had his wallet out. I decided to ignore it until she called me over to ask me specifically for the check.<br /><br />The next thing happened when I was near their table taking an order from a different table. She said "Do you <span style="font-style:italic;">have</span> the bill?" with a tone that said "why didn't you bring the bill?" I said "Do I have it on me? No, but I can go print it for you!" with a great degree of pep.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-8810967662959723702007-07-23T16:47:00.000-07:002007-07-23T14:48:10.973-07:00Pop Lock And Drop It is totally the new Drop It Like Its Hot.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-2896424875549281192007-07-11T14:22:00.000-07:002007-07-11T12:22:24.039-07:00city ducksToday I saw ducklings crossing Chicago Avenue. All the cars stopped for them and it was so cute. Where were those duckies going? The hardware store? I'm worried about their little webbed feet on the hot pavement! I guess thats just what its like to be a city duck. I wanted to pull over and usher them wherever they were going, guarding them all the way, but I had to tell myself that those ducks are just part of the natural course of the universe. And those ducks are probably tougher than me anyways! They were born and raised in the CITY.<br /><br />In other animal news, there is a genius cartoon in the New Yorker which features two kids walking along, and one says to the other "there's just so much pressure to like monkeys." Its true! That kid just doesn't like monkeys! Everybody else thinks they're so silly and fun, but he just doesn't like them, ok!?<br /><br />That cartoon is paid for by the people who just don't like monkeys that much, for cryin' out loud!Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-13301911949705543582007-07-01T17:25:00.000-07:002007-07-01T15:25:33.429-07:00The New Cool 108My car's cassette (yeah cassette) player don't work, so its radio for me. One of my favorite things about Minneapolis right now is the battle between Love 105 and the <span style="font-style:italic;">New</span> Cool 108. When Love 105 came out and started playing mostly love related songs, they cut into the Cool 108 oldies market. This caused Cool 108 to play mostly oldies that were not related to love for awhile (i think there's only two and one starts with "jeremiah was a bullfrog.") Finally Cool 108 realized what we've all known for a long time, which is that the eighties and nineties now constitute the oldies, so they can play journey, madonna,disco greats. Even patsy cline! you name it. And then they added the "new" and have only been playing good stuff. which makes Love 105 look like saps.<br /><br />So I basically switch back and forth between the two of them, giving them points that disappear immediately b/c the points don't mean anything.<br /><br />Except occasionally I turn to the Current, but I don't like how much they talk about music on there. Like "oh aren't we all cool people who hang out and know so much about music, and don't we all want to go to this or that concert. We just can't wait until so-and-so comes to town." You see, I like music just as much as the next person, but I hate when people act like music is their life. Its not food. Its not entertainment or friendship. Sometimes, its memories, but mostly its atmosphere or for dancing/expression. Sometimes it communicates with the soul, I know I know. I get it. But I hate hearing people talk about it. Like when musicians tell the audience in a live setting about the song they're about to sing. They just ALWAYS sound like assholes. And I'm sorry, this is very different than telling the dixie chicks to shut up and sing. I think its great if musicians have political beliefs. I just don't want to hear about how "we wrote this one on the road on the way to Decatur. We had just stopped at a gas station where, like, the closest town was Wannamaker or some shit. So the guy at the station must have had TWO teeth. but he just had this beautiful soul, ya know? This songs for that guy."Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-37187128694862529392007-06-26T13:00:00.000-07:002007-06-29T10:51:52.960-07:00Classy Red Corset Dresses and the Year of The Wedding<span style="font-weight:bold;">My good friend received the following <span style="font-style:italic;">(long)</span> email from her Aunt, which kept me laughing in about 6 directions. It is women like these who I have been essentially surrounded with in this, the Year of The Wedding (YOTW). (to clarify: not my wedding, just everybody else's) <br /><br />Its worth reading all the way to the end where we wrote a few possible questions for her aunt. (she did leave the door open for questions!)</span><br /><br />Dear Relatives,<br /><br />We have thought about you so much all weekend as we attended the wedding of Marc and Becky Johnson's daughter, Holly, and Andrew, at First Lutheran Church in Algona, Iowa. I know that many of you were not invited, but thought you might be interested in hearing about your relative's wedding. Weddings are always so much fun!<br /> <br />I know you might get lots of "takes" on the wedding, and everyone you hear from will have a different perspective and things that stood out in their mind. So, here goes "my" version of the wedding.<br /> <br />We got to Algona, Iowa, on Friday afternoon late, delivered the wedding gifts from us, Cindy and Blake, and Kirk and family, to Marc and Becky's home, and then checked into the motel, ate supper, and then visited a short while with Grace, Norbert, Linda and Gary. <br /> <br />Saturday morning we had breakfast with Grace, Norbert, Linda, Gary. Linda and Grace went to West Bend to see "The Grotto." Paul and I stayed and talked a long time with Gary and looked at pictures he had taken on his recent trip to China. We had a delightful time. Lois arrived, and Cindy and Blake and Ruth and Red arrived just in time to go to the wedding. <br /> <br />The wedding was absolutely gorgeous. Holly was beautiful. She is such a pretty woman. Her dress was white, strapless, and the back had a small train. The dress was satin. The front was perfectly plain, but the back was kind of "laced up" like a corset would be laced, and it was out of this world! The gals had all had their hair done, naturally, and they looked absolutely gorgeous as well.<br /> <br />The five women attendants (two were Holly's sisters, Amy and Jill) and were all dressed in bright, cherry red, satin dresses, strapless like Holly's, only they were short, right below the knee. Their shoes were high-heeled flip flops. The flowers were red and white. The color scheme was indeed striking. <br /> <br />The guys were all in black tuxedos with red vests and bow ties. <br /> <br />Holly and Andy had a "Sand Ceremony" instead of a unity candle. Holly and Andy each poured a different colored sand into a vase. It was very unique, different, and memorable. We loved it! The pastor did a superb job on the sermon and the whole service, with input for Scriptures and music by Holly and Andy. The music was outstanding. The soloist was the church's choir director. The organist was one of the best I've ever heard. She was the wife of the pastor. <br /> <br />Becky Johnson (MOTHER OF THE BRIDE) had on a beautiful beige lacy pant suit. Grace had a gorgeous pink suit which looked so nice with the red of the attendants. <br /> <br />Unfortunately, I can't find our wedding bulletin, so can't tell you the Scriptures or the songs that were sung. Hopefully someone else can fill you in on that. But, they were marvelous! <br /> <br />The bridge and groom had a receiving line of just them as people left the church. We were all given little bottles of bubbles to blow at the bride and groom when they left the church. After the ceremony, the bridal party rode around town in a wagon pulled by two Belgium horses. They all had a great time. Of course, we all blew bubbles galore! It was fun! There were over 200 people at the wedding ceremony. <br /> <br />The whole reception area at the KC Hall a few blocks away, was decorated with candles, red flowers, netting, etc. It was absolutely elegant. There was punch, and an open bar before the dinner. Before we ate, they had all kinds of crackers, cheese, etc. They had candy cups for everyone at the tables. The tables were all round, covered with white tablecloths, and the bright red napkins were folded like fans and placed in the water goblets. Very, very elegant. At our table was Cindy, Blake, Paul, myself, Lois, Ruth and Red. We had a very good visit. Cindy and Blake left early to go back to the motel as Blake wanted to swim. Ruth and Red left early as well.<br /> <br />The reception was so much fun. The DJ, at the request of the bride and groom, did all kinds of fun things with the couple and with all the kids in attendance. It was truly a family affair. The bride and groom threw out candy for the kids, and of course there was the traditional throwing of the garter and the bouquet.<br /> <br />The DJ had Holly and Andy take off their shoes and then each of them had two shoes in their hands...one of Holly and one of Andy's shoes in each of their hands. They stood back to back and answered questions by holding up the shoe that they thought was the correct answer. It was a hoot. There were questions like, "Who is the best cook?" Some answers were the same, and some were not. It was lots of fun. There were probably 25 questions....Who has the most clothes? Who is the best kisser? Etc. Etc.<br /> <br />To get the garter off of Holly....this will maybe sound "not so good" but it was really cute. The people at the reception had to "vote" as to whether or not Andy took the garter off of Holly with his hands, his feet, or his teeth. Of course, it was all pumped up. The people voted he had to get the garter off with his teeth. Andy had to do a "sexy" dance to some music and then he slid on his stomach to Holly, who was sitting on the back of the best man who was on all fours. Andy got it off with his teeth, and the garter was right below her knee. All of the young people had so much fun.<br /> <br />Of course, there were the traditional dances of bride/groom; bride/father, etc. They did the "Hokey Pokey", the "Chicken Dance" and lots of other ones to get the people involved. <br /> <br />They had all "older couples" dance, and then had them sit down as the DJ called off "everyone sit down who has been married less than 10 years, 20, 25, etc., until there were only two couples on the floor, and the oldest married couple (except for Grace and Norbert) was someone married 52 years, and they had to give advice to the bride and groom for living a long and wonderful married life. The guy said, "Always say 'Yes' to what your wife wants." <br /> <br />There was a slide show of Holly growing up, Andy growing up, and then their life together the last few years. Also, for the bride/father dance, there was a slide show of lots of slides of just Holly and Marc.<br /> <br />Of course, one of the hits during the dancing was when the DJ played, "Sweet Caroline." Of course, little Caroline, (daughter of Amy (Holly's sister) and Hunter's daughter was the flower girl. She was really wound up and had so much fun. By the way, she did an excellent job as the flower girl. She threw the petals just perfect. As we were ushered out of the church, our Blake picked all the petals up that she had dropped. He thought they should be picked up so the floor wasn't a mess. <br /> <br />We saw and visited with lots of the Johnson clan. Paul especially enjoyed seeing and visiting with Merrill and Muriel and Dean. They left early so we didn't get to visit a real long time with them.<br /> <br />We got back to the motel about 10 PM, went to bed, and were up bright and early "breakfasting" with the relatives. We went to church at the church where the wedding was held. Went back to the motel, watched Blake swim, and visited with more people around the pool area. Then the family served an early lunch in the motel's hospitality room and we visited until 1:30 PM before finally heading for home. Andy and Holly came and went around and visited with everyone making them feel so welcome. The immediate family was going to Marc and Becky's home around 2:00 P.M. to unwrap wedding gifts. Andy and Holly leave for their honeymoon on Tuesday and will be gone for a week.<br /> <br />I'm sure I left out lots of "stuff" that you might want to know....but ask away! I'll respond the best I can! It will be interesting, I'm sure, for you to get the perspective of the others who were there.<br /> <br />That's it for tonight. Hope you have had a great weekend.<br /> <br />Sandra<br /> <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Hi Sandy! How fun! The wedding sounds so romantic and classy. You said we could write with any questions about the details. I would love to know if you could clarify whether the bridesmaids' dresses also had corsetlike backs, and whether they wore fishnet tights as well? I'm just trying to get the whole picture.<br /><br />Or....<br /><br />I do have a question about the inappropriate garter/teeth incident. Do you think it was really appropriate with all the children there? Although I know weddings are a time of playfulness for all, they're also about Jesus and colored sands, so....<br /></span>Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-28065607831510624482007-06-25T14:47:00.000-07:002007-06-25T12:48:02.550-07:00restaurants vs. offices part 1Yesterday a lady called during the lunch hour at the restaurant. She said "Do you guys have lazy susans on your tables?" My coworker said "no, our tables aren't really big enough for lazy susans" (not to mention its latin fusion cuisine and not mediterranean potluck.) Then this caller said "Do you know where to get those?" So basically this lady was sitting at home and said to herself:<br /><br />"I want to have a lazy susan at my party. Let's see...where do they serve food? Restaurants."<br /><br />This leads me to believe she has no internet. And has never heard of google, a kitchen store, cooks of crocus hill, crate and barrel, bed bath and beyond, target, ikea.... the list goes on and on.<br /><br />And now (drumroll) I would like to draw attention to the fact that this woman was, herself, in fact, a LAZY SUSAN.<br /><br />hahahahaha.<br /><br />(This post falls under the category of restaurants vs. offices because it reminds me very much of the "what region are we in" lady.)Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-72514834881978873312007-05-23T14:44:00.000-07:002007-05-23T12:45:04.476-07:00JunebugThis is why I like our dog Juniper Bug:<br /><br />Right now there is a tornado warning and she's sitting on the porch with me watching the rain. She'll look out the window, look at me worried, whine, and then look up at the ceiling. Then she looks out the window again. She just figured out roofs!<br /><br />This rainstorm is the most exciting thing in the world for her. She's sniffing the air, she's watching everything, all the noises are making her jump and look. This is what it would be like to be an animal. For one thing, people would be thinner if they were more like animals. They move around all the time.<br /><br />I love this dog. Granted, she ate the first 18 pages of my copy of "Gone with the Wind." I don't know, maybe she found it offensive.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-20593365790342719092007-05-17T10:22:00.000-07:002008-08-27T17:04:04.318-07:00The Climate Chronicles<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhM37dCzj0qwpTyPdCf0P6-ioizEJq4R29kaQlaIecai-7nX-AQ0awZuxkLeeaQbKYdQkAm0oX5g_n-1XbmhZy4XIZh-O3UqOWLxjNl0J0fdmuaQTPkjBO8OPO8R8a-S0nST23EA/s1600-h/powertrip.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhM37dCzj0qwpTyPdCf0P6-ioizEJq4R29kaQlaIecai-7nX-AQ0awZuxkLeeaQbKYdQkAm0oX5g_n-1XbmhZy4XIZh-O3UqOWLxjNl0J0fdmuaQTPkjBO8OPO8R8a-S0nST23EA/s320/powertrip.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5065581554851668482" /></a><br /><br /><br />Part One: Equator.<br /><br />For anybody who still reads this who is in NYC, you should absolutely go to this. God I'm sad to miss this.<br /><br />directed by Sebastián Calderón Bentin<br />conceived and performed by Hannah Heller, Paige Collette, Sean Donovan and Sebastián Calderón Bentin<br /><br />One night performance only!<br /><br />Brooklyn Arts Exchange<br />421 Fifth Avenue, 3rd Floor<br />Park Slope, Brooklyn, NY 11215<br />www.bax.org<br /><br />Admission: $5Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-69693883734595020592007-05-09T13:26:00.001-07:002007-05-09T13:26:12.753-07:00<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aCxDZRJKkqY"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aCxDZRJKkqY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-42552508549675126702007-05-08T13:15:00.000-07:002007-05-08T11:31:20.322-07:00Hippies Burn Cross in Honor of Pagan HolidayI didn't get to go to the May Day parade in Mpls this year because I had to work at the restaurant. But my roommates filled me in on some of the, well, bloopers. <br />For those of you who don't know about May Day, just picture huge "bread and puppet" style puppets, and hippies in masks adorned with colorful ribbons and scarves.<br /><br />The parade culminates at the park with a performance about the earth. Now, the "tree of life" is a repeat puppet every year. They always show the ravages of humankind's wastefulness on the tree of life. This year they decided to burn the puppet to show global warming or something. But the puppet's sketetal support was made with a simple vertical wooden stick, crossed with a horizontal one. You know, like the kind Jesus was hung on. Oh and the kind the Ku Klux Klan used.<br /><br />Burning. So once all the paper mache and ribbons and fabric burned off, the audience was faced with a near empty stage featuring a burning cross.<br /><br />The next awkward little moment was not so heavy with irony, but still made me laugh. The man who played the turtle was supposed to walk into the lake, retrieve his shell, and crawl slowly out of the water wearing this big turtle shell. But when he walked into the lake, waves of murmurs could be heard throughout the audience: "ew, i wouldn't go in there.." and "ooooh, that lake is so dirty."<br /><br />The next part is best told with a reenactment, but I'll try to use my words. As the tortoise was crawling out of the water, everybody's attention was on him. It was the climactic moment. (although I doubt more climactic than a burning cross.) Suddenly a big queen (man) who had just purchased some kind of fruity shish kabob and a little gift bag of something, came barreling across the stage. At first audience and performers thought maybe this guy was part of the performance. Then they realized he was some pissed off gay guy who just wanted to cut across the performance. So in this momentous tortoise scene, this guy walks across with a vengeance, saying something like "WELL IF THE PATH WASN'T BLOCKED, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PATH, RIGHT HERE, I'M NOT GONNA WALK AROUND THE WHOLE LAKE."Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-56294367453668614132007-04-20T16:00:00.000-07:002007-04-20T14:20:55.344-07:00listening to...<a href="http://www.flakradio.com">flakradio!</a>Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-6202415612386915572007-04-11T15:13:00.000-07:002007-04-11T13:14:09.658-07:00Why i still read the fug<a href="http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2007/04/fugque.html">LOL</a>Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9212125.post-72495422602813127882007-04-10T17:28:00.000-07:002007-04-10T15:31:39.419-07:00Chelsea Clinton<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh28trH-Gj2zujB5zRygZ5MkCZ84pSU0arAf0Cl6Z9bllv1_Ifh0BnJoVJzjbqGaiCLDTIL_8LPhPQzEUApqdDwOugcKg-JoheazE147fxPr9-mz8vITFyZzX3_jFW2J_ZfAJEmFg/s1600-h/hair.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh28trH-Gj2zujB5zRygZ5MkCZ84pSU0arAf0Cl6Z9bllv1_Ifh0BnJoVJzjbqGaiCLDTIL_8LPhPQzEUApqdDwOugcKg-JoheazE147fxPr9-mz8vITFyZzX3_jFW2J_ZfAJEmFg/s320/hair.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5051930715474238450" /></a><br />Malls can be amazing sometimes. Like last week when I found a photo booth that photoshops different hairstyles onto you. The results were, I think, priceless.Soozhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18202957720815601112noreply@blogger.com0