I can't dress myself

It comes in two waves:

The first is me at 8:20 this morning, 5 minutes after I should have left. I don't have any clothes on and I think this is the crucial moment where wrong, bad choices began. I stepped into black tights. Purple shoes. A light blue summer skirt with a big frilly thing on the back (it is adorable in the summer). But it sticks to the tights in the front so that it looks like a drawstring skirt. The shirt is a turquoise sweater which, being boatneck, was joined by a white tanktop to cover bra straps. WHA? Business appropriate? I think not. Black hoop earrings. It is kind of Moulin Rouge mixed with NOT MATCHING.

Not realizing the weight of the crisis until a truckload of weird looks on the subway and from all the women in the office, I decided at noon, to take an emergency trip to Century 21. Despite the pain involved in Century 21 at noon (what with its Eurotrash families and "disenchanted" salesclerks), you would suspect some sort of cohesive outfit creation, especially in an emergency such as this. "Keep it simple!" was my mantra. But no. My goal to buy one or two items that would simply correct the issues of the current outfit fell through. I bought a whole new outfit. And I think it is, while at least matching, just as absurd as the first one. It is: a nice tight black and white striped sweater. A gray chinoey-fabric knee length pencil skirt. The problem with this particular item is just the size. They only had size 10 and I was so desperate I bought it anyways. I have wrapped and pinned it, but it is still not really staying on. So its nice and baggy and bunchy. Mmmm, just the way I like it. The tights are gray fishnets (with small eyeholes so still appropriate). I think it really is better. But as I looked at myself in the mirror, I inevitably thought: "Oh no. What have I done?" I haven't left my desk at all yet b/c I'm afraid to face the sad stares of the women in my office. They'll be thinking "Oh sad. That girl obviously went out to buy new clothes and that's what she came up with?"