great moments in employment when I have thought to myself "How did I get here?"

The State Disability Clinic
When the 10-yr old "ADD" kid was kicking the glass door and screaming "No!" at me and his grandmother started to have an asthma attack so I called 911 for both of them. I called 911 twice a week on average, but this time was memorable.

Pre-K Tutor
When I found out that Marc-Anthony, who cried all the time, had glasses he should have been wearing all along. (I noticed because he was cutting his snowman shapes 1 inch from his eyes.) I asked him why he didn't wear the glasses and he said they were ugly and stupid. I asked him why he thought that. He cried some more. So I took him in the bathroom and we spent time in front of the mirror talking about how cool glasses are. I felt a lot like Marlo Thomas. I also will always remember the day four of them peed their pants in canon.

La Cocina
When the owner, George, performed Reiki on my bloody heel, after slapping a towel of tequila on it. Then he told me to look at the photograph on the wall of a group of people holding their hands up to the camera. "Reiki camp?" I thought. No. I was later informed that they were "The Force" and no further explanation was offered, simply the question "Do you believe?"

Drama Counselor at A Certain Orthodox Jewish Sports Camp
The whole thing. Perhaps most respectfully the moment when I dared to ask "Why can't Adelaide sit on Nathan Detroit's lap?" and the camp director came whizzing down the hill on his golfcart to reiterate some rules. (Second place goes to the time I flipped my lid b/c the spoiled brats wouldn't quiet down to play some theater games, so I marched back to my cabin to get "Franny and Zooey" and just started reading it to them through tears. They booed me.)

Ice Cream Cafe/Coffee Shop
This lady was like "Miss, there's no milk left in this pitcher." I said "Oh I just filled it; try loosening the lid." She thought I was getting fresh with her so she said "Oh really? You're telling me there is milk in here?" I said "Well, I just filled it, but if you want to hand it to me, I'll check it out." She refused and got this very sad face on. She took a sort of performative stance, with pitcher held high over her head, and repeated, "Are you telling me there is definitely milk in this pitcher?" I slowly said yeeeees, eyes wide. She turned the pitcher upside down and poured a gallon of milk all over the floor.

Current Corporation
When somebody said the amount $800 million in all seriousness in a meeting. And I looked out the window of the 38th floor at the giant 'W' billboard with all of Manhattan "at my feet" and I was like "whaaaaaat?"