Wednesday, February 18, 2009

This was my valentine's present! It looks like we have a Milliner on our hands.

Monday, February 16, 2009

new stuff

I am posting because Kat started this blog and listed me in her blogroll. Also, since she listed the Fug Girls, I figured I'd better start being clever so if they ever get to my blog, we'll become friends and hang out laughing at each other all the time.
Something funny that happened today at work? Sure. This old guy told me he likes to sit with his back against the wall so no-one shoots him. The funny thing is that is the same reason I like to sit that way too. Really. Or so I can see it coming and dodge it real quick.
What else? If I was rich, what would I do? Buy this t-shirt for all my New York buddies.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Monday's Child

Found out about this poem last night:

Monday's child is fair of face.
Tuesday's child is full of grace.
Wednesday's child is loving and giving.
Thursday's child works hard for a living,
Friday's child is full of woe.
Saturday's child has far to go.
But the child that is born on Sabbath-day
Is bonny and happy and wise and gay.

So you're way better off being born earlier in the week. Generally before Thursday. I can't help but imagine that the weekend was a busy time for midwives and they wanted to discourage mothers from going into labor when they'd rather be kicking back for happy hour and barbeques.

There are two versions of this poem, and either way I am born on Thursday, which means either that I have far to go, or I work hard for a living. Awesome. It reminds me of the tragic movie "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants," which may or may not have made me cry three times. After America Ferrera confronts her father for abandoning her, the camera pans to the children's leukemia ward and I just wept "Oh NO!"
My point is, that meanwhile, Rory is falling in love with a hottie in Greece! Her summer is so much better than the others, I just don't get it. When she leaves, the entire town comes out to say goodbye, and they send her down the mountainside on a donkey procession, with the glimmering blue sea behind her. Clearly a Sabbath-day's child.

Check back later when I rewrite this poem. I think I'll include something like "She works hard for the money," so I can at least be pictured with a sweatshirt off my shoulders.

Monday, June 09, 2008

This is an office

And I say that with pride and tons of awe, as I report that...

Today our new intern arrived. With her DOG. She is not blind. Nor is this dog the kind you put in your purse and feed sweetmeats to. Its the kind that sniffs your butt for drugs at the airport.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

The Intraweb

When I forward something to my boss, she doesn't reply to the person who sent the original. She replies to me as if I were them.

My dad recently signed up to get back in touch with all his old high school classmates.

Last night we had a certain television star at a certain Cuban breakfast joint where I work. He asked the owner if she speaks Cuban. That doesn't have to do with the intraweb. Or does it?

And that is our lesson for today, folks. The internet is for everyone.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Busy Month at the Casa

Well the holidays are over, here are the things I learned:

1. My aunt falls asleep anytime she's in a seat in a dark theater. She even fell asleep in Stomp!
2. Windshield wipers are very fragile. And necessary. In blizzards.
3. If you see a newyear's party through the window outside and it looks like five people standing swaying gently in the middle of an empty room, cut and RUN. (even if the doorbell has already been rung.)
4. It is now called "Carson's countdown." Oh and I don't know any popular "bands."
5. Being 27 is like being 26, except WAY OLDER.
6. Babies like mirrors.
7. If you get too much chocolate, put it all in a wooden trunk so you forget about it for awhile. Then pull it out after dinner when you have guests over.
8. How to make napkin ears
9. The Holidaze are actually like three weeks long.
10. Spill the wine waitresses have heard the joke.
11. Michigan has some very racist names for cookies.
12. Detroit is the rape capital of the world.
13. Michigan is known for its scrapbooking conventions.
14. The suburbs of Chicago are worse than the suburbs of other places for the following reasons: The people, the restaurants, and the highway webs of torture. Oh and the tolls.
15. If you are playing a masked character and your mask falls off, it is acceptable to use the tongue to push it back on.
16. There is at least one person out there who will lie to get a discount, and would like a refund of $6 on December 26, smack dab in the middle of the season of giving.
17. Doggie poops stay here. The frozen drifts keep them cold. Snow will melt away. A haiku!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Cute Canine with a Costume


Plus new red union suit...


A three-way Cuteness contest between that laughing baby with the paper, Baby Pandas, and Miss JB. She looks like this but ADURABLE.

Yeah I'm posting on the internets again. Perhaps its because I'm back in an office. Also some people who know me may think its funny that this year I will be playing the role of "Maria" in "La Natividad." Ironic jokes about virginity, religiosity and whiteness could easily follow, but I LOVE IT. My favorite part is when I sit and cute children dressed as animals, stars, and angels bow down to worship me. (I guess they're worshipping the baby, but WHO CARES?) I'm starting to feel sort of Christian or something.

(fyi for those people who have either stumbled upon this blog or flocked here by the thousands when I started writing again, the "voice" I adopted in the above paragraph is more of a ditsy character than my true self.)

My true self spent last night playing with beads. My mom cleaned house and found my FIVE boxes of seed beads from junior high. I used to trade them with other beaders. Sort of like gamers but...aesthetically pleasing...sometimes. Beads can also end up being sort of crafty looking, so I got teased a bit when I was discovered last night with my spread.

In other worlds, I discovered Sudoku about 8 years late. To my joy one of my coworkers doesn't sudoku yet (its a verb for me) so I got to explain the rules to her. I'm convinced that explaining it is one of the most fun parts because you sound smart and impressive and timely. Except for me, not timely.

Finally, you may not think you know Holiday Mathis but you DO. She writes the horoscopes for most newspapers. We're pretty sure thats not her given name or eye color.