Sweet Valley

Today's show that I would like to reminisce on is "Sweet Valley High." This show, along with "Breaker High" which featured the young Noah Calhoun, satisfied some sort of hunger inside of me. Its a desire that a lot of ladies experience; the desire to indulge in something totally shallow and lame and as far away from "high art" as possible.
But my favorite thing? The opening song of the show:

"Look right down in a crowded hallway. You see there's a beauty standing. Is there really two of them or...a reflection? Sweeeet Valley, sweet valley, hiiiiiiiiiiigh!"

We used to practice walking through our high school hallways and doing this "turn and smile and wave" thing, that we felt was the essence of high schoool tv shows. Even with short brown hair, you can pretend to flip your long blonde locks in a devil-may-care attitude.



Don't go thinking you got away with reading this post without a little gosling claim. So yeah Gosling was on breaker high, so....I saw him first. Dibs.

3 randoms

1. You know those commercials for careerbuilder that show the guy who works in an office with only monkeys? The thrust of their message is "this guy wants a new job." But guess what? That message doesn't work on me. Because I would LOVE to work in an office with only monkeys. Are you kidding me? Jumping on bubble wrap? Playing with our food? The possibilities fill me with a deep and powerful joy.

2. This morning on the subway, I was so rude as to unabashedly invade the private reading space of pure Royalty. You see, on the crowded L train, the center aisle is designated specifically for men to hold their books in. Once having found his seat, or "perch," it is a noble man's prerogative to lean forward and rest his cavalier arms upon his knees. And then to not move. No matter what. When the doors opened and masses of passengers pressed me unwillingly towards the gentlemen's giant bubble, I was unable to hold the levee. And, without my knowledge, the tip of my bag passed in front of (without touching) the top two sentences of his precious text. Without looking up, he took my bag in his hand and pressed it firmly away from his personal study lounge. I blushed at my own audacity. Oh yeah, and the precious text? I was able to glance at the chapter title and it was about witches. Witches. If you're going to be a crazy asshole, at least try not to be such a dorky one. Dorkface.

3. My friend is one of those spellers who uses the age old trick "when in doubt, add a letter." I love it.

Express Yourself

Sometimes on the internet you come across something so subtle in its beautiful hope and freedom. And yet totally awkward and adolescent. Hence:

Senior Portraits

This reminds me of that dear time when you actually believed that a picture could express your true nature so that everybody at school would see the real you.

Whether its feeling so naturally in touch with water that you'll crawl into it in your clothes, or so in love with track that you'll sprawl across it like a Broadway star, these pictures capture the essence of insecurity in its subtlest fashion. I love them.

Remember when you were not embarrassed to pose in arabesque in a grassy knoll just to express how joyfully you will take on the world, at the same time as you remind people that you've had 8 years of dance at Maria Escalante Studios?

Remember when you were proud of medals? Medals.

Remember when you saw yourself as a wandering spirit, having just read On the Road, so you chose the traintracks as a setting for your story? The start of a journey.

Remember your violin? Or your horse? Sigh.

Amish people don't like having their pictures taken

Maybe one of the best things we could do for the Nickel Mines Amish people would be to stop taking pictures of them.

A story from my past regarding Bette Midler

When I was in fifth grade we had to do a biographical project about our hero. Other people picked Malcolm X. I picked Bette Midler. Also, instead of the standard posterboard, I wrote a video interview between Barbara Walters and Bette Midler, casting myself as Bette. My costume was:

A gray wig
Neon green biker shorts
A purple sweater
High heels
A red purse

In the interview Barbara asked me about the death of my parents and I acted out "getting choked up" which involved no real tears. Which reads a little bit like "making fun of Bette Midler's parents' deaths."

At one point I wanted "The Wind Beneath My Wings" to fade in as we pretended to small talk after the interview. My solution? Place a tape player behind the couch and sneak my hand behind it and press play. Sneaky! In the video, you see me do this, and then I look at the camera with panic in my eyes. Its not plugged in! So I get up and plug it in and then just go sit on the couch and say "technical difficulties."

We didn't edit any of this out for the presentation to the class.