Zombie Debates of '06

S: In the zombie dream I was a camp counselor in my cabin alone when suddenly three zombies came in. I ran for the door but they trapped me in the cabin. I tried to fight the first one with a pool cue, but I couldn't get it back far enough to jam it in his throat because I was against the wall. The attempt to jam it in the zombie's throat was very lengthy and seemed to be the best solution, which isn't really a great solution, is it?
T: You're terrible at fighting zombies. I know it was a dream, but the best way to defeat a zombie if you're trapped in a room is to let the zombies in the room, run around them, then trap them in the room! Like judo.
S: I couldn't get out of the room, silly. How am I gonna trap them in the room if I'm also trapped in the room. we were all trapped in the room. and guess whose the meal in that case? Sooz.
T: There wasn't a door or anything?
S: The zombies outside trapped us in there by barring it shut. i guess they were smart. besides judo doesn't work if its just switching words around. case in point: There is an elephant on me. To solve this problem I would simply sit on the elephant. Judo.
T: Here's how judo works on zombies. It's sort of complicated, so you probably won't get it. But I'll send it to you anyway, maybe if you read through it a few times -- or ask someone for help with it -- you'll eventually pick up on the idea. Lure the zombies into the room, don't work to keep them out. Once they are in the room, using their slouching zombie momentum to go towards you, quickly move around the zombies, and out the door from which they are so hurriedly moving away. Judo.
S: Yeah I get that. and by the way, the tactic of "telling me i'm not smart" works only in your mind. HOWEVER, in the dream, I did not have time to do any luring. the zombies surprised me in the room and shut the door on me. My plan was to try to lure them away from the door and then dash for the door, which I did, and at that moment, a zombie outside SHUT THE DOOR ON ME. So i was trapped inside the room. it was not some sort of room-weapon that I was going to use to "trap some zombies today." You should read your emails more carefully.
Sooz - 10
Taylor - 0
T: It sounds like you don't know what a zombie is. I read your email quite clearly, but at no point did you explain that "trapped in a room" meant "the zombies departed from all characteristics of zombie attacks and learned how to work in unison to lure me into a false sense of escape, at which point another zombie popped up and blocked me from getting through the only exit of the room". If you would've said that, I would've said that nothing, not even the ancient and beautiful art of judo could save you.
Maybe you have so much trouble because you live in soozworld, with its crazy workings and delusions.
Sooz - 6
Taylor - 11
S: Oh really? "The zombies outside trapped us in there by barring it shut. i guess they were smart."
If you don't believe me, you could also try scanning down this email again.
I think I'm starting to figure out TAYLORTOWN, btw. Since Soozworld relies on good arguing skills, fact, and delivery, Taylortown relies on "cutting down your opponent with groundless insults."
Sooz - 16
Taylor - 2
T: So were they really were super zombies that entered the only entrance, turned around and barracked the door? Or did the zombies work as a team to spring the surprise zombie on you? Either way, you didn't specify that they were super zombies, just that they could shut a door, which maybe in Soozworld means that they are super intellegent.
And sound arguments are my weapon of choice, the mockery is just an easy added bonus.
S: The zombies were working as a team. some went in and others stayed out to bar us in. i thought I had implied that, but i guess you need it explained a little bit more. That's ok, I'm glad you finally understand.